Well I have just been reading some of my old blogs and wow is pretty much all I can say. 😕
So if you too have had a look back over them and seen just how messed up and conflicted I was then here are some updates.
My last blog was well over 3 years ago!!
Back then I had:
- been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia,
- started the Paleo diet as definitely intolerant to dairy and need to lose weight
- stockings (delightful!) for my lymphadaema
and a long awaited 2nd child, Logan, so I had been rather busy!
So what has changed in the last 3 years and am I any better for it?
- I still have Fibromyalgia but it is mostly in the background now, thankfully.
- I still have Osteoarthritis in my lower back that can cause other issues, but again is mostly in the background now, thankfully.
- I have finally been to the doc about my moods etc and been diagnosed officially with Anxiety and Depression and have been on meds for this and had CB therapy for it.
So the Anxiety and Depression will explain a lot of my previous blogs 'moods'. Since finally qualifying to do a completely different role and leaving the job that was so destructive to my life things have really taken a change. Instead of 9-6 or 7 or 8pm in a soul sucking job where I was totally underappreciated and thought very little of (making me believe I was worthless and not worth thinking about) I now work in a school giving me more time at home with the kids and hubby and immediately life got better!
I still have dark days or weeks but something happened 2 1/2 years ago that really helps me when the black dog bites, running! Yep I know this fat girl that was always trying some diet of other and new fad of exercise has taken up running. Well I say running, and it is, but I use a method called the Jeff Galloway method. This means I run then walk a bit when I need to then run some more and so on.
What brought about this change? parkrun did, or more precisely following with envy my friends life change through running and knowing I would never be able to do it (aforementioned back and knees would surely not take it). One day she announced on her social media account that she, along with friends from the local running club, was starting up parkrun in our town. Now I already knew about the parkrun ethos having followed her progress but hadn't joined in the fun yet as all too far away and money was so tight at the time we couldn't afford the extra petrol. So now I had no excuse did I? No was the answer, I felt a pull to just go along and support my friend in her new venture and then likely never go again, 5km was forever and I doubt I would complete it this time let alone ever again!
So rather long story slightly shorter, I am now part of the core team and do my part as run director every other month or so. Did I ever go back and run it, heck yes for quite some time until my back went again and I was out for about 6 months or more. However, for the last year I have been using the run, walk, run method and get out around 3x a week and I still love it. I occasionally still beat myself up as I am not very fast and have to walk at times but as everyone says, I am no longer a couch potato and I am getting out there. I am slowly chipping away at my parkrun time and have gone from 1hr 6mins on my first effort to 50m 05 secs last week. Still slow in some peoples eyes but again faster than others. I also follow the lean in 15 Body Coach. I started with slimming world and did ok but whilst it is great for some, I could not get on with it. The Body Coach made more sense to me so I use some of his meals, have made changes to make some my own just due to taste and when not running try to do at least 2 of his HIIT workouts a week. All this has resulted in (since August 2016) me losing 2 1/2 stone and coming off all meds (except the odd paracetamol of ibuprofen).
Unfortunately there are still days of serious self doubt and sometimes loathing, I still have my dark times but they are a lot less than they were and I come out of them quicker too so all in all good.
I attribute my life change to new job, working with people who appreciate me, have taken the time to listen and understand me and give me good guidance if I go wrong and getting to spend more time at home. Yes the house is still a mess and cluttered, though not as bad as it once was, yes I still have days of loads of pain that exhaust me almost before I have even got out of bed but I have to just deal with it and carry on, take naps or have a lazy day if I am able and then catch up.
So how does running fit in with all the pain? Oddly it just does. I have days, like yesterday, where I felt rough all day for no real reason by 5pm I was fast asleep on the sofa (rather than the odd doze I sometimes do) I woke again at 5.30 and the 5.45 and felt almost worse. I could have decided not to go to running club but knew it wasn't an option, result? so glad I went, I felt tired and sluggish in the warm up but drills and training woke me up and I felt alive after. Awesome. The pain is always there, in the background reminding me not to push too much but the run,walk,run method helps letting me take a breather before any joints really hurt then carry on.
So there is me bang up to date and about ready to go out again for a short run with a friend. Probably be more walk than run as we do like a chat but at least we are getting out there. This helps me earn a lovely carby dinner of a turkey burger bagel (a mash up of 2 lean in 15 recipes!).
So until next time, maybe the weekend actually when I will blog about my DJ stuff (yep miss anxiety can step up on the radio waves).
See you, take care and enjoy life!
Sara (a.k.a Fat Girl Slimming) also find me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube
