Hey there cyber dudes,
So another month gone by and still not pregnant :( Been looking on the web and reading what I already know and that is the older you getter the harder it gets to fall pregnant. I know this and still get upset every month. The more I read of ways to get the body in tune as it were the more I also read that my size and age don't help, I was more fertile 8 years ago when we fell for Rhys well duh, I know this so why do I keep beating myself up over the fact that each month I feel like I have let Stu down, feel he should have picked a younger model to begin with instead of old wrinkly me!
I hate that 2 times now I have been late only to come along cruelly a week or so later. I know that even 8 years ago it took around 9 months to fall for Rhys so it is bound to take longer this time but it doesn't help. I feel that everywhere I go I am surrounded by pregnant ladies and babies and that they are mocking me.
I know that I need to lose at least some if not all of my excess weight but exercise is hard as I am in quite a lot of pain most days and it puts me off trying, when deep down I realise that maybe the more I do the easier it will get but I am stuck in more than several vicious circles and getting dizzy as a result.
I feel better for blubbing on here it is like an open diary and certainly an open prayer, I don't want it all at once i.e. slim figure, less pain, baby on the way, but a small amount of the first 2 to aid in the 3rd would be great.
I am walking to the shops and back in a mo for a start and will try to resist buying anything too naughty but that is not enough, need to do more but I guess its a start and gets me off my butt and from in front of a computer screen!
thanks for listening again world!!
